Just keep swimming.

Last night was one of those nights, one of the nights that its just me and Connor up all night.  He had a headache for most of the night.  We came downstairs and sat in the dark.  I rocked him all night.  All you can do is hold him close and rub his head.  Tell him you and me kid.  I think we both got about 2 solid hours of sleep.   He woke up this morning without a headache which is a huge plus.   He is napping comfortably at the moment.  These are the days that make me question life.  Why Connor? Why does this have to happen to him? It just doesn't seem fair.  I get sad, I get angry, I feel hopeless.  Sometimes all you want to do is crawl up in a ball and cry.  Do I? No.  I complain on a blog.   I am doing my best not to let the kids see how tired I am.  I don't want them to know how stressed I am.  I do not want them to ever find out that I am terrified.   I will never get an answer to my woe as me questions.  I just have to ask myself every morning, is this the day that you lay roll over and die, or do you get up and fight?  Again, I am following Connor's lead.  I am up, I am fighting.